Brett’s Attitude Adjustment Re-calibration Device!

Here is the unique history behind Brett’s new corrective device…

Some of you have experienced our one of a kind custom-made piece of equipment – the true, real world speed, knife attack system. (Its use and the timelines derived from such use, was just applied in a Federal case in which we prevailed)  The genesis of this system was a thought which I had many years ago, concerning in just what exact manner could I replicate within a live fire format, all the complexities inherent in a knife attack firing solution.  Simple solution… a rail system with a carriage assembly to be run, with a 360 degree loop system utilizing dynamic climbing line as the powering mechanism generated by a human being… namely, me!  Now that 40 foot track system that many of you have observed at our classes weighs in at a mere 23,000+ lbs., as it is a righteous section of wide gauged, railroad track that was recovered from deep within the Mojave Desert (a do-it-yourself kit if ever there was one).  The two men who delivered this delicate gem to us so many years ago, were two of the hardest, meanest, most wrinkled and leathery real men I have ever seen – you could not tell where their leather gloves stopped and their arms began.  They were not at all impressed with gunfighting, as they had been chewing on rattlesnakes for breakfast since time began.  These guys reeked of sage, yucca cactus and Mojave lizard juice.  They were real, real hard!  They dropped off the track right where I wanted it and then threw in a little token of appreciation which is known as a spike mall.

he spike mall is used to strike the railway pins on the anchor plates which attach the rails to the cross beams known as railroad ties.  Supposedly, if the pins should ever loosen, then yours truly would recover the spike mall, deliver a few well-aimed blows and the pins would once again, be set firmly into the railway ties.  Since this had never been an issue in over a decade, the spike mall just sat in the back of the connex box awaiting an entirely different fate which brings me to the whole point of this.

From time to time, individuals have given Brett cause to ponder the question as to just how and in what manner they should be dealt with.  One could yell but that simply strains the vocal cords.  One could become upset but this accomplishes nothing.  One could employ reasoning yet if they have crossed Brett, then reasoning has already proved not to be a viable option.  She could employ nefarious methods but this is not in her nature.  She will not acquiesce to stupidity so that’s out of the equation as well.  However, one well-placed strike, from the appropriate tool, just might do the job!  I mulled this over and decided to recover the unused spike mall, clean it up and then commissioned the appropriate brass plate to be especially constructed for Brett’s new device.  The inscription reads: “Brett’s Attitude Correction and Re-Calibration Device Mark IV, Mod: 1 Mil Spec.”  The Smithsonian Institute has already called and placed a bid on this most unique one-of-a-kind device!  No other exists or has existed so that automatically places it into the category of extremely rare and unusual.  It balances perfectly and the wooden handle is strong, blond hued and smooth for that perfect grip.  I don’t know the original date of manufacture, but I am placing it quite possibly in the early part of the 1900’s.

I have not yet been struck by this beauty, but I can imagine that it would leave a mark of some sort.  Brett has it in her office, against the wall, for the appropriate occasion.  She is not the type of person who would needlessly visit violence upon another… in fact she is quite the opposite.  I just thought that the image of her, holding this delicate instrument of correction over her head in preparation of striking a blow for sanity, was pretty funny.  She, on the other hand…thinks I’m nuts.